HUMOUR

Your Astrological Forecast For Today

Or… What the Linux fortune command has to say to you based on your star sign

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Fortune Cookie

There was a wonderful Linux command line programme called fortune which would print out a random quote or a quip — if you pipe it through cowsay you will get something like the following

Running through the file and finding the astrological forecasts will give you the following — enjoy

ARIES (March 21 — April 19)

• Matters are not good, where your health is concerned. This Fall, be sure to “walk groundly, talk profoundly, drink roundly, and sleep soundly” and you will live all the days of your life.
• You are the pioneer type and hold most people in contempt. You are quick tempered, impatient, and scornful of advice. You are not very nice.
• You are a wonderfully interesting, honest, hard-working person and you should make many new friends, but you won’t because you’ve got a mean streak in you a mile wide.

TAURUS (Apr 20 — May 20)

• You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bull headed…