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Why I tell my Children That They Don’t Have to get Married (or Have Children)
Or… Countering the built in expectations of society that are constantly reinforced throughout a child’s life. Letting children grow up to evaluate their (and society’s) decisions and beliefs goes far beyond these two topics, into everything that they should.
TL;DR¹
I want to empower my children to evaluate their decisions around marriage and having children — and whichever way their decision lies — it needs to be their decision, not something that an unquestioned reflection of “society’s beliefs”.
The evaluation of their beliefs is critically important to personal growth — no matter what those beliefs are — especially for any beliefs that are placed on them by society, their peers, and even their parents and family . Particularly the ones that are oft repeated and just ‘assumed’ to be true.
Finally, they need to know that there is NOTHING wrong with not getting married and not having children, that the perpetual background societal reinforcment that is placed on them is simply not fair to them and, most importantly, reinforces an outdated thought process that embeds (or brainwashes) children before they have a chance to fully evaluate the consequences of those choices.